Ten ways With Dr. Matt

Ten ways you can use psychologically minded language with your gifted/2e student (at home or at homeschool)

Dr. Matt Zakreski

In this series, Dr. Matt offers “Ten ways you can use psychologically minded language with your gifted/2e student (at home or at homeschool)” in an article that has been broken up into small pieces that you can enjoy at your leisure (or sneak it into your busy day). Each article provides helpful advice to parents of gifted kids along with a video where Dr. Matt discusses the topic.

Please comment on the posts and be part of the GHF Dialogue. We hope that you enjoy these.

Ten ways you can use psychologically minded language with your gifted/2e student (at home or at homeschool)

Working with your child as a both a teacher and a parent can be challenging. Teachers go to years of school to learn how to reach and mold talented young minds. Mental health professionals have years of practice in trying to unpack the tangle of human motivation. You have a career and a life (and…

#1 Ten ways: “And” not “But”

“And” not “But” – As human beings, we tend to connect things and create narratives. Sometimes this is really helpful for us (“I know that I’m not very good at chess right now, but I just started playing!” or “I didn’t like the last season of Doctor Who, but I loved the previous two seasons!”)…

#2 Ten ways: “Let’s” not “You”

“Let’s” not “You” – We’re in this together!  When I work with a client in therapy, I usually ask some variation of “What do we want to work on today?”  I know that I’m not the client (really, I do).  But this inclusive technique is a subtle way of modeling connection and setting boundaries.  Gifted…

#3 Ten ways: Don’t ask questions if they aren’t questions

Don’t ask questions if they aren’t questions – I have a good friend who is a lawyer (who shall remain nameless for the purposes of this article) who often admonishes me for asking questions when I don’t have to.  It is a common social artifice, but it rarely serves any purpose other than maintaining niceties.…

#4 Ten ways: Use the forced choice paradigm

Use the forced choice paradigm – When kids are upset, they can do lots of things: melt down, lash out, shut down, etc.  All these states represent altered neuropsychological functioning, usually marked by an excess of emotion that the body is unable to process.  If the body is overloaded on emotion, the “lizard brain” (the…

#5 Ten ways: Challenge absolute statements with the power of “yet”

Challenge absolute statements with the power of “yet” – We hear a lot of absolute statements when we work with kids.  “I can’t do this!”  “I’ll never be good at writing!”  “I have always hated orange juice!”  In any situation, these statements are painful to hear, as they represent the pain and frustration that our…

#6 Ten ways: What not Why

What not Why – One of my pet peeves is when someone answers a Why? Question with “because.”  Like that’s even an answer!  (or a complete sentence!)  There are so many great words in language and to just smugly say, “because” is irritating to me.  I was complaining about this to a colleague and she…

#7 Ten ways: Help to name emotions

Help to name emotions.  If you go back to the brain/nervous system information that I referenced in #4, you’ll notice that I talked about how to help manage our kids when they are so upset that their good “wizard brains” are offline.  In this step, we are going to practice how to help our kids…

#8 Ten ways: Use the SCOOPER Instruction Technique

Use the SCOOPER Instruction Technique – No, this is not another summer job for your kids.  The SCOOPER technique is an acronym for how to give instructions to increase your chances of getting the tasks you need accomplished done. S – Same Place (don’t shout across the house; make eye contact)C – Clear instructions (know…

#9 Ten ways: Use meta-communication.

Use meta-communication.  I love this point because it sounds SO NERDY.  Talking about talking?  The prefix meta?!  ::Groan::  Nerdiness aside, however, I have found that adding these conversational techniques into our daily communication increases understanding, empathy, and success in difficult interactions. Meta-communication is talking about talking.  To me, it is using verbal introductions and explanations…

#10 Ten ways: Avoid “Should”

Avoid “Should.”  Should is a dangerous word in self-esteem, performance, mental health, and relationships.  One of my colleagues says that the word “Should” is really an abbreviation of the words Shame and Could.  So you take the infinite possibility of the word “could” (I could do this, we could do that, etc.) but add shame…

#11 Ten ways: (Bonus!) The power of “that sucks.”

(Bonus!)  The power of “that sucks.”  I’m a big fan of the TV show Parks and Recreation.  In one of the later episodes, Chris Trager (played by the indomitable Rob Lowe) is trying to meet every single possible need of his very pregnant girlfriend Ann Perkins (played by the fabulous Rashida Jones).  He makes smoothies,…

Dr. Matt Zakreski

Psychologist, Gifted Expert, International Speaker

Matthew Zakreski, PsyD is a high energy, creative clinician who utilizes an eclectic approach to meet the specific needs of his clients.  He specializes in working with children and adolescents, as well as their families, in providing therapy and conducting psychological evaluations.  Dr. Matt is proud to serve as a consultant to schools, a professor at the university level, and a researcher and author on his specialty, Giftedness.  

​Dr. Matt thrives in supporting young people in understanding, developing, and celebrating their unique brains and ways of operating in their world. He is best known for his work with Gifted individuals and in being an advocate for implementing high-level supports and understanding of Gifted needs.  He is a board member of the Pennsylvania Association for Gifted Education and active in multiple Gifted organizations around the country.

https://www.drmattzakreski.com/