Challenge absolute statements with the power of “yet” – We hear a lot of absolute statements when we work with kids. “I can’t do this!” “I’ll never be good at writing!” “I have always hated orange juice!” In any situation, these statements are painful to hear, as they represent the pain and frustration that our students are feeling. But absolute … [Read more...] about #5 Ten ways: Challenge absolute statements with the power of “yet”
About Matthew J. Zakreski, PsyD
#4 Ten ways: Use the forced choice paradigm
Use the forced choice paradigm – When kids are upset, they can do lots of things: melt down, lash out, shut down, etc. All these states represent altered neuropsychological functioning, usually marked by an excess of emotion that the body is unable to process. If the body is overloaded on emotion, the “lizard brain” (the oldest part of the brain, responsible for our … [Read more...] about #4 Ten ways: Use the forced choice paradigm
#3 Ten ways: Don’t ask questions if they aren’t questions
Don’t ask questions if they aren’t questions – I have a good friend who is a lawyer (who shall remain nameless for the purposes of this article) who often admonishes me for asking questions when I don’t have to. It is a common social artifice, but it rarely serves any purpose other than maintaining niceties. In fact, it actually can pull us further away from our … [Read more...] about #3 Ten ways: Don’t ask questions if they aren’t questions
#2 Ten ways: “Let’s” not “You”
“Let’s” not “You” – We’re in this together! When I work with a client in therapy, I usually ask some variation of “What do we want to work on today?” I know that I’m not the client (really, I do). But this inclusive technique is a subtle way of modeling connection and setting boundaries. Gifted kids often feel that they must do everything solo. … [Read more...] about #2 Ten ways: “Let’s” not “You”
#1 Ten ways: “And” not “But”
“And” not “But” – As human beings, we tend to connect things and create narratives. Sometimes this is really helpful for us (“I know that I’m not very good at chess right now, but I just started playing!” or “I didn’t like the last season of Doctor Who, but I loved the previous two seasons!”) but sometimes it hurts us. We need to be more strategic in what topics we link, or we … [Read more...] about #1 Ten ways: “And” not “But”
Ten ways you can use psychologically minded language with your gifted/2e student (at home or at homeschool)
Working with your child as both a teacher and a parent can be challenging. Teachers go to years of school to learn how to reach and mold talented young minds. Mental health professionals have years of practice in trying to unpack the tangle of human motivation. You have a career and a life (and potentially other kids), and now you have to teach as well?! This was not in the … [Read more...] about Ten ways you can use psychologically minded language with your gifted/2e student (at home or at homeschool)