#11 Ten ways: (Bonus!) The power of “that sucks.”
Matthew Zakreski, PsyD (Bonus!) The power of “that sucks.” I’m a big fan of the TV show Parks and Recreation. In one of the later episodes, Chris Trager (played by the indomitable Rob Lowe) is trying to meet every single possible need of his very pregnant girlfriend Ann Perkins (played by the fabulous Rashida Jones). He…
#10 Ten ways: Avoid “Should”
Matthew Zakreski, PsyD Avoid “Should.” Should is a dangerous word in self-esteem, performance, mental health, and relationships. One of my colleagues says that the word “Should” is really an abbreviation of the words Shame and Could. So you take the infinite possibility of the word “could” (I could do this, we could do that, etc.) but…
#9 Ten ways: Use meta-communication.
Matthew Zakreski, PsyD Use meta-communication. I love this point because it sounds SO NERDY. Talking about talking? The prefix meta?! ::Groan:: Nerdiness aside, however, I have found that adding these conversational techniques into our daily communication increases understanding, empathy, and success in difficult interactions. Meta-communication is talking about talking. To me, it is using verbal introductions…
#8 Ten ways: Use the SCOOPER Instruction Technique
Matthew Zakreski, PsyD Use the SCOOPER Instruction Technique – No, this is not another summer job for your kids. The SCOOPER technique is an acronym for how to give instructions to increase your chances of getting the tasks you need accomplished done. S – Same Place (don’t shout across the house; make eye contact)C – Clear…
#7 Ten ways: Help to name emotions
Matthew Zakreski, PsyD Help to name emotions. If you go back to the brain/nervous system information that I referenced in #4, you’ll notice that I talked about how to help manage our kids when they are so upset that their good “wizard brains” are offline. In this step, we are going to practice how to help…
#6 Ten ways: What not Why
Matthew Zakreski, PsyD What not Why – One of my pet peeves is when someone answers a Why? Question with “because.” Like that’s even an answer! (or a complete sentence!) There are so many great words in language and to just smugly say, “because” is irritating to me. I was complaining about this to a colleague…